Blood Rane

Demetrius Rane perched on the ledge of the balcony that stood almost sixty feet above the ground; He was clad in his finest black attire and his prised black cape that he had acquired on a trip to France. His long dark hair softly moved with the midnight breeze. The moon shone bright but he remained sheltered by the shadows that hung from the stone building. It had been countless nights since he had been away from home, held captive in his home by the man he grew to know as his father. Held against his will Demetrius was tested and prodded at as if he were a lab rat. Night after night but tonight was different. There was something in these hours of darkness that told him to go in search of that which he had long been exiled from.
Tonight he would hunt for the first time in what had felt like an eternity. He stood and leaped from the ledge and landed gracefully on the roof below making sure to stay within the protection of the shadows he then leaped off the second rooftop into an alleyway. His piercing ice-blue eyes peered out from the alleyway observing the street to see if anyone was around satisfied that there was no one he pulled up his hood and made his way down the ally into the nearby tavern.
Inside the tavern was filled with the perfume of mortals and the scent of liquor hung thickly in the air, he made his way over to the end of the bar and sat there in the dark. Once the bartender noticed him he ordered a drink and brought it to a table in the back.
It felt good to be out and not confined by the walls of the manor. He observed the people that were in the room lots of men and very few women. He wondered why he came to places like this he did not need to consume liquor to feel different but there was some part of him that wanted to be among these people and partake in there ways.
Demetrius thoughts were then disrupted by the sound of shouting men near the tavern door. There were three men surrounding a woman, taunting her and pulling at her ragged clothes. The woman looked as though she had been hauled through the mud. Her long blond hair was greasy and matted, her face was oily and mud filled, her arms were filled with scrapes. But underneath that she had very pretty eyes, which at the time were filled with fear.

Demetrius felt bad for the girl so he decided to help her out. He got up from his seat and quickly jumped onto the bar top then onto one of the men. With one punch the man was knocked out cold. A second man pulled Demetrius off his friend and tried to attack him with a blade. Demetrius swiftly kicked the man in his stomach and hurled him into a wall.
The last man looked at Demetrius and with a look of shock on his face the man ran for the doorway. Demetrius grabbed the girl and pushed the two of them out the tavern door and into the ally. The two were safe in the ally and had not been followed. The girl had tripped when Demetrius pushed through the doors of the tavern. She seemed to be unconscious. Demetrius then picked up the girl and brought her to his home.

The mansion was large and very old looking. The hallways were long; the rooms were wide and filled with art and sculptures from all over the world. The rooms were dimly lit by candlelight while others were not lit at all. Demetrius carried the woman up the steel steeps and into the guest room where he cleaned the dirt from her face. Demetrius then gave the woman some water that had a tranquilizer mixed into it so she would stay asleep. He ran his hand down the side of her face and down to her neck then outlined her chest with his fingers. He then cut into her chest with one of his nails just enough to draw some blood.


The scent of her blood was strong and sweet to him, he could no longer hold back. This being his first taste of blood in so long. His fangs dropped as he leaned down to her chest, he licked the dripping blood and then sunk his teeth into her flesh. Demetrius could feel the energy pour into him with every drop of blood, this is the moment he had been waiting for. He finished drinking from the woman and slid the body down the garbage shaft the same way he had been taught. He knew his next feed had to be more of a challenge, which would make up for his easy catch that night.

Demetrius cleaned up and then went to his room. The room was practically empty and dark except for the light that shone on a huge metal casket that stood near the back wall of the room and bore the family Symbol. It was larger and deeper then the average casket but it maintained its shape and coloured lining. Once inside Demetrius slept for what he thought was the rest of the night until he was disrupted. From his casket he could hear someone enter his room and call his name.

“Demetrius! How can you be sleeping at a time like this? Wake up you lazy bastard, the night is still young and we’re not going to get any action sleeping all night.”

Demetrius knew oh to well the shrill voice his brother made when he wanted them to go out together. They never shared parents but the two had adopted each other at a young age, they were both on the streets and later found they shared the same blood lust. Demetrius got out of his coffin and grabbed Gavin by his shirt.
“Why must you pester me while I'm sleeping? Besides I've already been out tonight.” He let Gavin go.

“Oh? Out without me again I see, your first night out in months and you don't even invite your own brother well I know when I'm not wanted.” Gavin pouted and turned to leave the room.

“Fine we will go out again but I'm going to lead, last time we almost imprisoned for starting a fighting.

The two made their way from the mansion and out into what was left of the night. There was not many people around but Demetrius knew of a place where they could find a good time, so he lead Gavin toward the older part of the town to a large house. The house looked condemned and not lived in for many years. They went around back to a door that leads to the basement.
Demetrius lifted the wooded door and lead his brother down the stairs and into a dark room where another door, this one was locked. Gavin had an idea of where they were so he looked around the room until he found an old blade under some rubble. Gavin then cut his wrist and then knocked on the door. The door opened slightly and a woman appeared wearing a very short shirt and a just about see through black shirt. Gavin held out his arm and the woman grabbed at it and tasted some of his blood. Then she opened the door and let the two enter. The woman led them into a large room, there were people everywhere drinking each other’s blood, some people were making out and others were moving to the music.

Demetrius caught the attention of a girl that was in the back of the room; she pushed her girlfriend aside and walked over to him. She started to dance in a circle around him; she stroked his long hair and then led him out of the room toward the back.
Gavin had also attracted some attention of his own and was quickly pushed onto a couch. The music was pumping and his heart was racing as the girl motioned for him to bit at her neck. He hoped his brother was going to be busy for a while so he could have some fun. He felt down the girl's shirt and the moved his hand around her breast as he sucked on her neck and at the perfect moment he bit into her and started to drink her blood.
Demetrius and the woman walked into the darkness of the back room away from all the others, they could still hear the music but this was a more private spot. The room was small and had a bed at the back wall, the woman lead him over to the bed and slowly removed her clothes and moved her body to the music, she motioned for him to join her on the bed. He removed his shirt and climbed onto the bed, the woman ran her fingers down his hard muscular body and bit at his stomach. She slowly moved her hands up to his shoulders and rubbed them while he moved his hands around and felt down her back. Then bit at her neck and started to drink her blood. He had not felt this good in along time and it defiantly made up for his easy kill earlier that night.
This was one of those times Demetrius could unleash the beast within himself with out having to hide his true nature. His Muscles grew and ripped through his shirt as he sat on top of the woman, his eyes rolled back into his head, his hands grew longer and his back arched slightly his hair grew longer and meet the end of his back, his fangs fell from his mouth and his ears grew pointed. The woman let out a scream but he knew no one would hear her because the basement was once bomb shelter. He bore into the woman with his claws and finished her off, then steeped back to observe his kill.

Control

And the voices inside my head
Will taunt me until I’m dead
Forever Imprisoned within myself
Beyond the reach of help
Unforgiven soul
I have lost control.

Blasting music in my ears
Drowned in sorrow
Painted tears
Stored frustration inside of me
Haunting nightmares cling to me
Downward spiral Falling fast
Loss of senses weekend grasp
How much longer will this last
Cant hold onto what I know
I have lost control

Anger with frustration swallow motivation
Watch night transform to day
Then Slowly slip away
Hollow eyes grow week and dim
Let the embrace of sleep begin
To hush the fight that storms within.

And the voices inside my head
Will taunt me until I’m dead
Forever Imprisoned within myself
Beyond the reach of help
Unforgiving soul
I have lost control.

Divine

What's this feeling inside here this thing that's not permitted, just hides there
Sailed through life not allowed to have a slice of some silly infatuation
Not looking for mind masturbation, something real,
something to hold strong to
They say good things come to those who wait but tell that to my insides
and the heart that's known nothing but the shatter before the bitter sweet break.

I'd say you have better things to do than spin around in my head
Distracting my conscious, obstructing my view,
hell I can't lie and say it's not a pleasant little side trip
Maybe it would be better if you stepped though my imagination and took my hand instead? We can be scared shitless together, wrapped in our own disillusionment.

I'm crazy and moody, controlling and needy
I foam at the mouth and am overly clingy
Leaning to be positive, optimistic, patient, less greedy.

Perfection is fiction
Sin is Divine
Flaws are beautiful
Someday, just maybe you'll say you are mine.

Here we are again me alone once more
It seems I can't find the pot of gold at the end of this rainbow.
I've cried a thousand times I still don't know how to find what it is
I'm looking for not sure I ever knew before.

I drive down that road again watching yellow lines pass me by
Along the worn out pavement I feel just as trampled on as it.
I've traded gold for pot holes that will never be filled in.

This can't be all this can't be it the emptiness can't pass for bliss
Oh I just might be going crazy, slowly going crazy.
I'm strong on the outside and jelly within, let you break me down
that's become my sin so stop haunting me, why do I let you win?

My mind does the crime and my heart does the time
I just might be going crazy, slowly going crazy.
How do I dig myself out of this one this round?
Why do I treat me like this?

Just love me

The days all blend together and I wounder where I've been,
right next door to nowhere honey and this last candle's light is growing dim.

May I bother you for some shelter cause the wind just ain't my friend,
dirt stained shirt saves my last supper like a trophy no one wins.

I've been told a storm is coming from far across town,
and I'll take a glass of water because this is tough to swallow down

Lay my head on your shoulder where I can't feel a thing,
smell your sweet aroma fill my soul, it makes me want to sing.

I'm just looking for meaning to a life I could never win,
so whisper sweet into my ear tell me you love me still, even if I'm hollow

You make these dark eyes shine, now and always you'll be mine
even if it's not meant to be now or ever again, just love me for a while.

Just love me for a while..

4 Am

Thank you Mister four am you've hugged me once again
Missed the train to sleepy town baggy eyes on board
Numb the senseless pilot of night's not nearing end
Sun shakes her sleepy head just around the corner now
Rise! Another monotonous day can't fight the axis spin.
She whispers cruel lies to me in bitter winters deep.

Oh how I long for comforts unknown my soul
no rest it keeps. Something, somewhere lost beyond my means
It left me here incomplete.

Ten minuite free write.

Screaming, I live in a world where screaming is an acceptable way of communicating, it's always been this way my entire life and without it I'm really not sure how people are normally supposed to talk to each other, maybe that's why most of the time I choose not to. Sometimes I feel that those around me scream and fight because it's the only thing they know how to do, it feels like people thrive of conflict and cannot live without starting unnecessary drama. It's hard living with someone that has brain damage and I wish people would understand I don't say this as a joke or because I dislike my Step-Thing, he was honestly was discharged from the Army because of his head injury. It's hard to deal with a grown man who figuratively jumps up and down and acts like a two year old, everything has to work on his schedule or not at all. He doesn't take care of himself and thinks everyone else has the problem where he is perfectly fine.

No one has ever sat me down and properly talked with me about it and when I go for counseling most of them have just written that it's a figurative head injury and I'm making it up. I know there are assholes out there but this pushes beyond that, and it puts me in the position to think that all adults are supposed to treat each other like mass shit. My Mother just makes excuses and takes care of him without taking care of herself, she's just as neuritic as he is these days, she's a sad and broken woman. I don't remember the last time I saw her truly happy.

I hope my twisted perception of relationship and love doesn't fuck up what I have, I'd be heart broken if I ever acted that way, with such malice towards the ones I love the most. I guess everyone makes mistakes sometimes, and the key would be knowing right form wrong where others do not. Fear plays a big part in my life, it always has. Not just phobias but fears of life, death, failure and success. I feel like my life is standing still and the world is spinning around me, here I am just drifting by. There are three minutes left on my clock, I didn't know where this would go and it's sad how the bad things have to come out when the good goes unwritten and ignored. Maybe that's the way it's supposed to be? We keep the good for ourselves and reflect the bad outward? I'm not sure but it seems that way to me. I don't want perfection in my life but communication without so much anger. When I'm around anger and negativity it always make me either want to scream or revert to a child and cry my eyes out. For once I'd love to just be able to breath and walk away with my dignity in tact. Boy do I every try my best.

You're A Quitter

Brownies
Girl Guides
Sparks
Swimming Lessons
Ballet
Church
Cadets
Soccer (a few times)
Tae Kwon Do
Kung Fu
Karate
High School (twice)
Hockey Team
Wrestling Team
Convergys
Drama club
Choir
Writing a novel
How to think sideways course
Journal Writing
Wanting to be an actor
Wanting to be a singer
Movie Dome job
living away
living on my own
Making new friends

The list goes on...

I've gone through life so far with a huge pile of in-completes on my list. Things that I have quit and things that I have missed out on because I didn't think I was good enough to try, or I was just too scared to try for myself. Beings SAFE has been my number one tool for too long, and what I have never realized that it was doing me so much harm. If I'm not writing there's a huge hole inside of me that can't be filled by anything else, if I don't sing during the day I get cranky and not realize it. If I don't get off my ass and exercise, my ass becomes unhealthy, in not so nice ways. Safety is a big huge illusion, hell it's even a marketing device! “Don't have our shiny new security system? Who will save your family from a fire? Send us money NOW!” It's called an exit plan, or deadbolt locks. There's that swell invention, the telephone that lets you dial for 911 or the number for the police station if it's not available in your area. It's a lot cheaper than a security system (I'm in one of those bizarre rural towns were you can't dial 911 for an emergency.)

I've lived in fear for way to long and right now I am choosing to no longer cling into the idea of safety in my every day life. The best thing I ever did was get on a plane out of my country for the very first time, I wound up in love and surrounded by great new friends. Doesn't sound very safe now does it? Nope, but I don't regret that for a bit or working through a long distance relationship in the separation months. And part of the fat bonus of my return is that not all of it will be so new and scary anymore.

I'm taking safety and telling it to kiss my ass. There are things I need to finish in order for me to feel good about me. There are proverbial doors that need closing and space to rent out in my head for new ideas, likes, loves and experiences. I re-opened the first part of my How To Think Sideways course and bit by bit I will get it done this time. If not a whole novel then at least the course it's self will be completed and I can call myself a graduate of learning, and finishing something I set out to do. Doing one thing at a time I will beat safe. Self motivation is rising.