It amazes me to realize that not everyone has the urge to creative something of your own (other then pro-creation that's another topic entirely.) be it art, theatre, film, music, food, many types of writing, the possibility are endless, and only ever bound by your own mind, where the sky is never the limit. To me this comes from somewhere deep inside of me, some place I can't really explain. I can however go there and tap into it when I need, it doesn't always workout for me, which leaves me painfully frustrated but the never ending need is there and can be quenched if only temporally.
I do my best to feed this need even-though this need isn't always co-operative. I would like for once to finish an original piece of some sort and be able to print it off and wave it around so I can jump up and down and say look here, look what I did! I've always had this feeling like something, something big has been waiting to burst out of me and I have been on this struggling journey to pin point exactly what it is I've been looking for, I have so many times come away empty handed over the years but I am still trying, I've never fully pegged out. I will be twenty-six soon and I still haven't found it but it's so close I can taste it, this prospect excites me.
I'd love to bring down the lightning and finally come face to face with this presence that's always been lingering with me, just sitting inside, playing hide and seek, and it's been laughing at me for so very long. I want to do everything in my power to drive it out for once and for all. There has to be a key, there has to be something that I've been overlooking, something to drive the beast inside of me out into the open so I can capture it in all it's glory. Listen here muse I want to be the one in command, no more shall you slip away on me and hide inside the pages of my mind, no more will you mock me from the depths of my soul. I will find you and find you soon, as the internet as my witness you are no longer safe and sound.
-Blake. H.
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